NORM THE GORM! (poem)

NORM THE GORM!

(Norman Tebbitt claims the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill
might mean a lesbian queen could give birth to a future
monarch by artificial  insemination and could allow him
to marry his son to escape inheritance tax!) (1)

Norm Tebbit’s close encounters with,
Ideas of the blurred kind;
Would, sadly, seem to indicate,
A certain state of mind.

Perhaps out looking for a job,
He fell off his Dad’s bike;
And bashed his head and wished instead,
He’d used his Triang Trike.

Or such hallucinations could,
Invariably ensue;
From munching magic mushrooms or,
From sniffing third-rate glue!

But namesake Norman would have claimed, (2)
Norm’s reasoning was sound;
And showed that politicians have,
Their feet upon the ground.

Thus if Prince Charles was crowned the first,
Of Britain’s Faerie Queens;
He could then marry William,
By artificial means.

And such monarchic incest could,
(As this new law’s so lax)
Reduce by some immense amount,
What both would pay in tax.

Less tax means Health Cuts would result,
But still we’d have to care;
For all those politicians who,
Were never quite all there!

(1) Big Issue 21/5/13, Wikipedia.

(2) Norman St. John Stevas, Conservative M.P.,
peer and self-appointed constitutional expert.

© Richard Layton